So, on the girls' trip Coast to Coast I was feeling really good. While on the trip (BIG SECRET), I bought a red dress. Yep, I mean RED dress. The kind of dress that you put on when you are fifty five, and proclaim, " yes there is a young woman in this body!" "Yes, I do have a shape!"
And of course, three weeks later, it was time to wear it in public. The little red dress that looked fabulous in the dressing room of the store in Dunedin, Florida, suddenly seemed so ridiculously not right. I mean, it was a what was I thinking moment.
I should have known my confidence would wane. First, I was with some of the best women in my life at the time: my daughter, my sister in law and my mother. Secondly, I was in a fabulous boutique that sells clothes with tags like: stop staring!!!!! So, the combination said buy it now for your work summer conference banquet! The days slipped by. And the dress stayed in the bag. The bag from kina kouture.
On the Sunday before conference, I asked my friend (we'll call her Tammy), to look at the dress and the other choice (another red dress) and tell me what she thought. She said to wear the Stop Staring dress. I was still insecure. So, I tried on the "conservative" dress. I think it was too snug in the wrong places. I have lots of wrong places.
Aging brings lots of issues, not the least of which is you s-l-o-w down. I don't mean in speed, I mean in metabolism. The things I used to eat, now stay with me, usually on my midriff. The things I used to do, now I don't do with the same vigor. Now I admit, some of this is my fault. I don't work out as much as I used to. I don't run after the horses or the children. I don't run or even jog or walk as a rule. I turned into a traveling middle age woman with too much travel and not enough movement. Working on that, but...
So, I do what wise persons don't. I ask for a second opinion and I tell Tammy, that I was going to do so! And as you can guess, Tammy says, "what you don't trust my opinion?" Shoot me. Really, just shoot me. I mean I am trying to have a middle age insecure moment and what happens? Tammy tried to out do me! REALLY?
Tammy is cute as a bug's ear and when she shows up in the elevator, she is take your breath away gorgeous. She has poofy hair. The kind of poofy hair that is styled and intended, not my kinky curly mess that is always on it's own in the Florida humidity. She is in fancy black and pretty shoes and she smells great. Wow, and I am supposed to compete with this!
So, both of us go out the door, me in my red dress and she in her black.
Okay, not so bold. Haven't shown you the red dress. But, you now know I had totally cute shoes... even the old and insecure can have cute shoes....
I had to hide the red dress with a black shawl. Partially, the reason is the freezing temps in a hotel, but mostly, because I have a not flattering waistline. And because the new President being sworn in is tiny and cute and the PRESIDENT! So, here is the red dress. The middle age over weight woman in red is me. I used to be the one with the tiny figure, so the new me is different. But I WORE MY RED DRESS. and I showed my daughter that confidence is only one shawl away... no kidding.
And of course, three weeks later, it was time to wear it in public. The little red dress that looked fabulous in the dressing room of the store in Dunedin, Florida, suddenly seemed so ridiculously not right. I mean, it was a what was I thinking moment.
I should have known my confidence would wane. First, I was with some of the best women in my life at the time: my daughter, my sister in law and my mother. Secondly, I was in a fabulous boutique that sells clothes with tags like: stop staring!!!!! So, the combination said buy it now for your work summer conference banquet! The days slipped by. And the dress stayed in the bag. The bag from kina kouture.
On the Sunday before conference, I asked my friend (we'll call her Tammy), to look at the dress and the other choice (another red dress) and tell me what she thought. She said to wear the Stop Staring dress. I was still insecure. So, I tried on the "conservative" dress. I think it was too snug in the wrong places. I have lots of wrong places.
Aging brings lots of issues, not the least of which is you s-l-o-w down. I don't mean in speed, I mean in metabolism. The things I used to eat, now stay with me, usually on my midriff. The things I used to do, now I don't do with the same vigor. Now I admit, some of this is my fault. I don't work out as much as I used to. I don't run after the horses or the children. I don't run or even jog or walk as a rule. I turned into a traveling middle age woman with too much travel and not enough movement. Working on that, but...
So, I do what wise persons don't. I ask for a second opinion and I tell Tammy, that I was going to do so! And as you can guess, Tammy says, "what you don't trust my opinion?" Shoot me. Really, just shoot me. I mean I am trying to have a middle age insecure moment and what happens? Tammy tried to out do me! REALLY?
Tammy is cute as a bug's ear and when she shows up in the elevator, she is take your breath away gorgeous. She has poofy hair. The kind of poofy hair that is styled and intended, not my kinky curly mess that is always on it's own in the Florida humidity. She is in fancy black and pretty shoes and she smells great. Wow, and I am supposed to compete with this!
So, both of us go out the door, me in my red dress and she in her black.
I had to hide the red dress with a black shawl. Partially, the reason is the freezing temps in a hotel, but mostly, because I have a not flattering waistline. And because the new President being sworn in is tiny and cute and the PRESIDENT! So, here is the red dress. The middle age over weight woman in red is me. I used to be the one with the tiny figure, so the new me is different. But I WORE MY RED DRESS. and I showed my daughter that confidence is only one shawl away... no kidding.
I showed my daughter that you should do what makes you happy, whether it is a red dress at the summer conference or a year in Germany trying out for dressage teams or in Tammy's case, trying out being a big sister.
So why would anyone be self conscious in this environment?
And this is my view from the condo and could anyone be unpleasant in this beautiful environment?
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