Rising to Capri

We stayed up late trying ot book charters to Capri, an island off the Napoli Coast.  Corbett and I finally gave up and pronounced to Ted that we had to go in person.

We did and we made it!

But first, we kill an hour in a different part of Napoli.  We have a cappuccino and Corbett has a cheesecake and an orange Fanta.  We watch the students, mothers and business people cross and recross the piazza.  A very nice spot except for the cigarettes.  The outdoors is always full of smokers.

Eleven comes and we are on the fast "jet" to Capri.  It is really a giant catamaran to the island.  Forty Five minutes total.  We get off the boat and try and orient.  Then I see the funicolare.  Love those.  Up and up and Ted not feeling the love so much.  Heights he says.  But aww the view.

I don't have photos of this, but the buses and the trucks and the cars and the anything else traveling on the road of Capri are truly the bravest and most technical people I can think of.  Today, the buses were so close that we felt the breath of the other riders.  Ted said there was an extra three inches, but I did not see it.  And on our right, the cliff straight down.  Look across the photo above and imagine driving around the rocky protrusions.  The drivers inching forward, squeezing busses into fiat size streets, mirrors in, people gasping, and me - I am sure that I tried to suck my belly into my lungs to help the cause.  And even then, with no buses coming, the roads sidle the edge and the lady next to me is doing the sign of the cross (a catholic thing).  Her boyfriend tries to comfort her and I tell Ted, there are worse ways to die.  And then the experience is in the past, as we are out on the streets and taking in the island views.

In case you are wondering, men from America act like men from America even in Italy.  "Do you know where you are going?"  "of course!"  Do you want to look at a map?  "Well that is inconvenient, but if you insist."  Should I ask someone for directions, Ted says?  Well yes.  And then we turn 180 and head up the hill not down the hill.

 Nope, no directions needed at all, why do you ask?

Ana Capri

We walk the top of the island.  One of the tourist offering is a lift up the mountain in single chairs, like a ski lift.   Ted does not want to ride the swinging chairs up the mountain as the clouds are covering the top.  I am sure he just doesn't want to ride the solo swinging chairs.  He is accompanied by a woman from New Hampshire, saying "no way!"  Ted offers to stay and have a beer with her while the rest of us go up.  But we decide to keep walking.  We have to be back at the port by four thirty and Ted is worried about time.  We take a short cut through the town, following the lovely Italian ladies below.  The view is the perfect ending to another day in paradise as we are told boarding our catamaran back to Napoli.  But if I ever come back, the swinging chairs for me!

A perfect end to the day indeed.

Rising of the Occasion of Work or Passion for Work

Today one of my professional peers and a friend resigned.  It was the second one this week.  And there is a void already, though neither has left.  Both of the women are strong and independent, each in their own way.  Both of them people I respect.  I will miss working with them.  I think that they had a passion for what they do, but more importantly a passion for the people for whom they did their jobs.  I started this blog to talk about passion and work vocation.  But now, I am going to talk about passion because you are passionate.  Because you care.

• "Telling someone to follow their passion -- from an entrepreneur's point of view -- is disastrous," says Cal Newport, Georgetown University professor and author of So Good They Can't Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Search For Work You Love.
•  "That advice has probably resulted in more failed businesses than all the recessions combined... because that's not how the vast majority of people end up owning successful businesses.”
• "Passion is not something you follow," he adds. "Passion is something that will follow you as you put in the hard work to become valuable to the world."

After I read this post, it gave me pause to think about the people I know who are passionate about what they do and why.  

• Career Passions Are Rare  It's easy to confuse a hobby or interest for a profound passion that will result in career and business fulfillment. The reality is, that type of preexisting passion is rarely valuable.

But then again, I have had the fortune to know many who did have the passion at a very young age.  My father knew he wanted to be an engineer.  He wanted to be good at math and science and blowing things up (not so much the chemistry).  He wanted to be involved in space travel and had a career many would envy.  My father woke up whistling every morning, happy to be up at five to take an hour bus ride to the base to work on guidance systems.  As a bonus, he got to watch things blow up!  My husband is another lucky person who knew that wanted to be in wildlife from the time he was a kid.  He became a game warden and loved his job and was passionate about teaching others the beauty and appreciation of the wilderness.

My mother in law is a pianist. She loves playing for her church and for services (funerals included).  She tries to make each performance unique and special for the person(s) affected.  She grew up at the piano and her father was a minister.  So he may have gently guided her through her years.  So perhaps she is one who loved what they did well after years and years of practice.

• Don't believe me? Think about something you're passionate about. Or something you were passionate about when you were in high school.  Then apply this test: Will people pay you for it? Will people pay you a lot for it?  "Money matters, at least in a relative sense," Newport says. "Money is a neutral indicator of value. Potential customers don't care about your passion. Potential customers care about giving up money." (That same logic, of course, also applies to potential employers.)

This June, there were lots of speeches and advice for graduating youth.  I thought it interesting that there was such a dichotomy of views: do what you love or do something well.  Or do something for money and do it well.  I know of more than one woman who has told me that they work to pay for their horses and their hobbies.

 That work, while rewarding, is really to provide a means for them to participate in the competitions across the nation.  Horses are expensive, and working to support them requires well paid skills.  Both of these women have them: one is a nurse practitioner and the other a financial analyst.  But, my point is they work so they can afford their hobby - not work at what they love to do as their hobby.

I suppose that most people view their jobs as what they have to do to support themselves and their families.  There are many jobs that I don't envy, but I am so glad than people do them. 

One of my peers that is leaving is in Human Resources.  She is the rock of the organization.  We don't always agree, but we always agree that she is genuine and forthright.  She gives great advice and is very organized.  She is the one you want in the interview room and the one you want in the disciplinary hearing.  I don't now if she loves all of her job, but she very obviously loves providing services to the people and caring for their well being.

The other person that left held a difficult pressured job and did it well.  Again, I don't know if it is her passion or if her passion was getting it right.  Hard to tell.  She worked hard and made sure that in the end, her boss and her organization held the right information for complex business decisions.  Her tenacity is marvelous.

Neither job is one I wanted.  Plumbers, auto-mechanics, roadway surveyors, airplane pilots, diesel fuel delivery, septic tank cleaners, electrical engineers.  There are people loading cargo and driving the giant cranes that build the skyscrapers.  People doing jobs that you don't ever think about, but you depend on.  I am sure that they see it as a necessity, not the dream of their life. I was recently touring Boston, wandering through the streets and blocks.  I was taken by surprise at the number of employees smoking outside  of their store doors, complaining about their jobs, their bosses and their low wages. Not to mention, they complained about the terrible supervisors and awful managers.  Unhappiness in work abounds.

 It helps to keep in perspective that whatever your chosen career path, you too, will encounter less than fabulous circumstances, people or situations.  Working in every job from clerk to bigwig, there are jerks all along the way.  There are great folks all along the way.  Hope I am one of the great folks!

Rising to the Occassion Texas Style

This past month, I had the opportunity to visit Texas.  With the exception of passing through to change planes, I had not been there since I was a kid.  So visiting Austin, Texas was quite an experience.

First off, Austin is not what one thinks of when you say Texas.  Very few cowboy hats.  But there were boots.  Lots of boots, but more on the boots later.

The first day, I had flown all day from Tallahassee to Austin.  That means going through Atlanta airport.  The longest, never change planes on the same concourse, ever, airport in the U.S.  Ride the train, wait to get off, ride the escalator, ride the elevator.  The only thing they didn't make you ride was a horse (that could at least be fun).  Then off to the skies to Austin.

After sitting endlessly through the "cattle car" section, I arrived at the Austin airport.  It was a genuine Texas welcome, with a towering guitar.  Showing my ignorance, I asked about the guitar.  Who knew that Austin was famous for music?  Okay, who in Tallahassee knew Austin was famous for music?  The guitars are everywhere.  Huge colorful guitars for varying corners with much appreciated color and meaning.  Also, a very convenient way of navigating the city.  This is particularly true for the direction challenged.

My traveling companion wanted to head to the hotel, so after checking in, I went walking to discover the lay of the land.  It was fairly straight forward and grid like, so all I needed to remember was Congress Avenue, and the numbered streets.  All the other streets are named after rivers.  That single piece of information made the walking pleasant. Once I had oriented, it was back to the hotel to make the plan for sight seeing after attending training at the huge civic center across from our hotel.

The second evening, it was a walker's paradise.  We strolled west along fourth, made it over the bridge, then turned and went toward the park.  We had heard about the bat colony: http://www.austin360.com/search/content/events/special/bats.html  It is alleged to be the biggest in urban America, but you will have to do your own research.. Though we made it to the Lamar Street Bridge and crossed over to watch.  No bats emerged where we could see, so we went back down to hike Lady Bird Lake Trail.  It was filled with people walking, jogging, running and showing their pets the outdoors.  It was lovely and laced with Texas Flowers: the bluebonnet http://www.50states.com/flower/texas.htm

They are some kind of blue and very spicey to look at.  They decorate the hillside where the lake is and make the landscape a vast canvas of color.  We continued the hike, but came to the detour site, that said the roads were closed and so was Congress Ave.  An art show was in progress of dismantling.  We missed the show, but it must have been fabulous because the streets were packed with semi trucks and porta potty vehicles.  We had to climb the hill and slip through a fence to avoid another long walk.  I personally would have kept going, but my sidekick was starting to fade on me.  She kept muttering about a coldbeer.  Coldbeer is one word for her.  And apparently, not just her.

We emerged at congress and started the long hike back.  We decided to stop at Frank's for a coldbeer and a ginger beer.  http://hotdogscoldbeer.com/  Frank's is a pretty cool place, that looks like a grocery store, but inside is a bar, restaurant, coffee shop and music hall.  We had the privelege of listening to Ava.  The photos almost can let you hear her soft melodious voice belting out crooner music.  Check her out! http://www.avaarenella.com/#!music

After that we strolled back tot he hotel.  A bit refreshed (where my sidekick decided a pizza was in order).

The next day we had time to slip out for lunch at the Driskill.  If you have never been, it is quite lovely with a story behind every pillar and room.  It was breathtaking and truly awesome when you see it  for the first time.  I can see why LBJ took Ladybird there for dates.  Quite impressive.  http://www.driskillhotel.com/

Lunch was divine and all of us had our fill.  They have the most incredible burger that you have ever had.  Amazing.  Bacon, egg, cheese, hashbrown, burgehttp://www.austinducks.com/r, bun, just oozing with caloric goodness.  It is huge too.  What a fabulous walk back to the convention center after such a lunch!

No tour would be complete without a tour with the "Ducks".  Ausitn Ducks tour http://www.austinducks.com/  took us on the river, by the capital and past the UT campus.  It was great weather and lots of fun.  Our guide was a part time tour leader who full times as a firefighter.  Handsome, fun and brave in one package!

I will visit Ausitn again, with better walking shoes (did I mention walking with my broken foot boot on?).  I really appreciate the sights, the friendly residents and the lovely atmosphere.  I wish my daughter had been in Stubbs barbeque and I wish that my sons could have heard the music.  Maybe I can put Austin on their to do lists for the future.

BTW I am not sure why, but Austin just makes you feel more beautiful and alive.

Rising to the Occasion of the Seven Year Itch?

Perhaps its just my age, or maybe my friends age, but it seems like several of the "midlife crisis" set are changing big time.  It used to be that you heard about men leaving their wives of twenty years to find the new trophy wife or to pursue the sports car of their dreams.  http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=trophy%20wife

But the people I hear about are women making mid life choices to leave their spouses or their comfortable habits and pursue a new lifestyle.  Some are leaving to change their life in big ways.  One I know of left her home and job to pursue marathon running competitively.  Another left because she wanted to live in a big city, having lived in the country for the last 20 years (could have been the commute).  And just tonight, my husband told me about another woman that we both know, planning to leave for a new love.

Perhaps it is just my imagination, but perhaps it is just my generation.  We are the ones that had to pursue it all: families, jobs, social activity, community service.  The soccer moms with their anti-tiger mom approach of giving theirs all the things they never had as youth.  My generation stormed in and now is changing the with the tide of age.  We may be tired of being it all, or we may just need to rejuvenate.  Some are doing it with their families, others are desiring to pursue who they are....  sort of like the teen years of finding one's self.  Many (mostly those left behind literally or figuratively) think they are making a bad trade and a poor choice.  But I am not so sure.  It isn't so much that the choices they made to begin with were right or wrong, as the choices they made twenty or thirty years ago don't apply anymore.

Articles on Crisis for Women

Several of the women I know are just plain unhappy with where they are.  They rose to the top of their game, raised their children, performed the house chores and were active wives.  They were challenged and took the challenge, rising to the occasion of ever more demands.  And now they face a long future.  Isn't 40 the new thirty? and 50 the new 40?  Don't they have another 30 years of life at least to pursue happiness and fulfillment?  Didn't they give enough and deserve a second shot?

What if their situation is not bad, it just isn't enough?  When one reaches the top or the plateau of career and a full family, you face more of your self.  You look in the mirror and see the inevitable change and maybe you think its now or never.  Maybe you think that you have so much time left, there is enough to be a whole new person with different aspirations and emotions and growth.  It is real; we do have a long time to be new or renewed when our children leave and our jobs top out - or are even gone.

AARP has many resources for those who want to enter a second career  ttp://www.aarp.org/work/working-after-retirement/

Other sites have info on rebranding yourself http://hbr.org/2011/03/reinventing-your-personal-brand/ar/1. I think people stop and wonder if they should be looking at a second life....  You know sort of the trophy wife scenario only now it is the trophy me instead.  I understand that feeling and the need to expand, to find something meaningful at this age and this time.  I look back on my mother's life and my grandmothers' lives and wonder if they didn't think and feel the same thing.  One of my grandmothers had already started a second family late in life.  I doubt she had time to think of new pursuits.  But surely those like my mother, who married at 19 and lived their entire life married and mothering, thought of pursuing a different dream or another course at some point.

I am not writing to advocate for leaving your spouse or changing your life.  That is a deeply personal choice that is way too complicated to indulge.  But I do understand the desire to be more than the supermom and the super employee.  I understand wanting to be a super you with a new identity and new purpose.  The options that we have are far greater than those who came before us. And those options present the challenge of choice.  Choosing is hard, as it is probably not reversible and not easy.  Even those who are certain that it is right will tell you how difficult the transition is.  Frightening really.  It does require some bravery to be someone new.

Don't be crabby about change.

I just wonder how it will turn out in thirty years.  I wonder if we look back and say that the choices we made on our second wind were as gratifying as the first.  This generation of women s broke a lot of ground and raised a fantastic group of children. They changed the workforce, the congress, and maybe the path of marriage for the future.  Now they are changing themselves again.  I guess the challenges aren't over.  I wish all of those looking down that path well. And I wish the ones that aren't going to change with you well too.