of a passion for your vocation and snakes

Update on the Snake Bite Victim:


I know some people want to hear the whole story of how and why Charles was bitten by a snake after handling them for many years.... I cannot take away the story that is surely his to tell.  I can't wait to hear the version in five years.  I am sure it will involve snow, hills, and perhaps a long struggle.

But the real answer is statistics.  He just finally lost to the odds.  Do something long enough and something will happen, especially with animals (and reptiles).

He of course was aware of what to do and what the identity was, etc.  He was doing what he has always done, learn and watch and try to educate others about the wildlife in Florida.

The update is that he is doing so much better.  His finger has reduced in size to the equivalent of a very fat cigar.  It is still wearing the purple badge of honor which will deteriorate as the bruised tissue is replaced.  He will probably regain total movement (though now it is a little stiff).

He is a very lucky man and had wonderful people to assist him in his moment of need.  Of course, he is back fishing and wandering the woods, and parks and waterways.  And of course there will be more snakes - hopefully of the red rat variety though.....

Thank you for your concern and thoughts.

Part One:  Most of us work 40 hours a week, 50 weeks a year.  That is 2000 hours a year, almost a third of your time and over half your waking time.

So lucky the ones who choose a vocation or a calling rather than a job.  Lucky those who have a passion and are able to do it for a living.  I know so few who chose what they love to do as a way to earn a living. So if you are one, then you have my admiration and my envy.

This is never so evident as in the healthcare field.  There are those doctors, nurses, pharmacists, phlebotomists, and nurse assistants that make you feel  like you are a person that matters.  They make you know that your pain is not their goal.  They make you know that the pain that you feel is recognized, that there is empathy.

The needle in the arm for the tenth time finds no veins.  The veins can be "fished" for or they can roll.  But, the truth is, the search for the vein can be done with gentle finesse or with the careless skill of a novice.  And of course, there has to be a novice.  I wonder how they select the novice tasks... "follow me and do what I do" or "follow me and you can learn on those with the least pain"...?

The difference in those paths are simple, the one who is passionate about providing the best care with the least pain, and those who want to get the job done. 

Neither are truly wrong.  But the difference is amazing.  And who do you want leading the next generation to provide care?  the passionate caregiver or the functional performer?

It is not fair to make someone who is truly good at their craft an automatic leader or teacher.  Not everyone has that knack.  But when you find the two combined, you have true inspiration!  Think back on your best learning experience.  I promise the person was truly excited about their topic and couldn't wait to tell you all about their knowledge.  It is funny, but my husband and my father are examples of people who were passionate about their fields and could not wait to share their interest with others.

This weekend my husband went to the ER with a snake bite.  A water moccasin snake bite.

 For those who are not normally involved with poisonous snakes, that is a hemotoxic bite:

Hemotoxic venom radically attacks blood and tissue cells causing traumatic damage to the area which received the bite. In some cases the after effects are so bad the patient may require skin grafts due to tissue degeneration and muscle damage.  Hemotoxic venom works by preventing the body’s blood supply from coagulating, therefore causing bite victims to experience large amounts of blood loss. 

" The victim’s limbs quickly start swelling as the body resists the effects of the cottonmouth snake venom. The swelling is as a result of body fluids collecting around the bite area which gradually spreads to other body parts. The swollen body parts redden followed by severe itching " according to cottonmouthsnake.org  and snakebite trauma  

The experience in a medical facility is dependent on the experience of the staff with the specific trauma.  It was very interesting to see the staff respond, calling poison control center, following the protocol and keeping the indicators recorded.  There was a huge difference in confidence when a doctor with experience with snake venom talked about treatment and those who were just following protocol.  It was a confidence issue as much as a credibility issue.  We were fortunate to have a doctor who had learned from cobra bites...  she exuded confidence, control and knowledge.  How fortuitous. 

And back to the beginning, she not only knew the treatment, but told me the patient would not change.  That there were more snakes in his future.  Hopefully, no more poisonous bites though.  She smiled at me with the knowing, " I have a recalcitrant husband too" look.

Between the doctor and the kind phlebotomist, the nurses who helped pass time all night, the difference in those who chose their passion, and those who chose a job was clear. And lest there be any doubt, I a grateful to both. It's just a little more fun, a little more certain, a little more reassuring to have the ones who are passionate and skilled.

Thank you to all those who helped at #CCRMC 

@CapitalRegional

Rising to the Challenge of the new Intimacy

The very nature of the modern world is to be anonymous to most, known to a few, and understood by fewer.  Or at least is what it used to be.  Now, I think intimacy is changing to reflect the technology and the way we communicate.  We can be intimate and outrageously public at the same time.  We can reveal in an un revealing way.  Conversely, some levels of intimacy and its opposite, anonymity are quite the same. 

Recently, I hired a Ted Talks speaker for an event and the speaker requested a car transport from the airport.  I assigned my assistant to be the chauffeur of the day and concluded that we were all set.  Wrong wrong.  The speaker said no, that would not do, as work needed to be done privately, so she would need a hired driver and car.  

(This is an ad with credit to the creator so hope it is fine).

At first I was offended, after all it was my assistant, and she is loyal and dedicated.  And then I started to ponder why this is so critical. On the surface, the speaker knows neither the hired chauffeur or the assistant.  But the assistant has a relationship with me, the one paying the speaker.  So there is an implied intimacy, that might require conversation between them, or more stressful, the assistant hearing conversation that the speaker did not want shared with the payer.  So if true anonymity is the desired affect, the having the implied intimacy of my assistant is not acceptable.

This made me think of the intimate moments on elevators.  You cannot get much closer than a packed elevator, and yet our intimacy is usually shared with silence, heads down, eyes trying to avert.  Touching and trying ever so hard not to touch.  Breathing and hoping not to smell anything or anyone.  We want to be anonymous. Not intimate.  So what makes a moment intimate or anonymous?  How do we look at the communications and tell?  Starting with the traditional definitions, Intimacy conjures up images of mothers and babies, lovers, secrets, secret lovers, pillows, diaries and so much more...

in.ti.ma.cy   is defined as: 1. The condition of being intimate. 2. An instance of being intimate. and then there is intimate, which is a verb and an adjective...  as you will see in the link to the definition.  But for our purposes (this is not a grammar lesson), we shall address intimate as the adjective....

intrinsic, essential belonging to or characterizing one's deepest nature

• marked by very close association, contact, or familiarity
• marked by a warm friendship developing through long association
• suggesting informal warmth or privacy 
• of a very personal or private nature

So the two descriptions work together as one describes time and one describes action or substance.  Intimacy can be a one time car ride (as can anonymity) or intimacy can be a long term sharing or revealing.  I tend to think of intimacy as a revealing of an private or personal matter, one that I hold dear, but that is an old fashioned view of intimacy.  For the moments on the internet and the theatre screens that I have cried over someone's joy or tragedy were just as intimate, but the other party does not know that.  Just I do.  Which brings me to the internet as an intimate forum.

There is much ado about postings on social media and how the "youth" are revealing their inner most secrets on the internet.  And I am sure that there are many moments that one would wish that they had not memorialized on their Facebook pages.  But truthfully, those moments of sharing are not intimate at all.  In fact, I would think they are more intended to be personal, but lose the intimacy in the blatant exaggerated boast.  If the internet didn't exist, these are the kids who would climb the water tower and paint their name, or race loud cars down the road, or wear ultra tight or revealing clothing to announce their presence.

But the internet does offer the true opportunity to be revealing and intimate at the same time.  I have family and friends with real issues such as medical problems or difficult spouses or loneliness who are  truly sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with those they intend to read them, but also 500 of those peoples' closest friends.  The fact that the others see the post does not negate the intimacy of the moment. or the photo. or the feeling of the intended reader.

So does it diminish the experience for the person sharing as long as the intended has read it and responded?  No.  I don't think it does.  And here is why.  Within two seconds of seeing a post, you have figured out if it matters, if it is interesting and if you care enough to look at the whole thing.  the information being intimate and personal for another is gleaned by the reader and they are moving on if it doesn't apply to their life.  Example, my friends could be posting about a funeral of a former co worker, but if my French class buddies see it, they are moving on down the scroll.  They will not dwell where they do not receive the feed back that this pertains to them.

So, announce away your blood test results or your GRE score.  Most people won't care.  Most people, especially if you have "friend-ed" hundreds will not see it.  Algorithms changed all that. Google makes a living knowing and selling that.  Take care and post away.

Rising to the Good Doctor Appointment

Recently, I went with my mother (and father) to the doctor.  I had somehow psyched my self into believing that this would be a momentous occasion for medicine.

Turns out that it is three pills at 8:30 a.m

Inflammation that went on too long and white cells started attaching so vehemently that they started being more of a problem than an asset.

So here is my take away from the doctor visit:

Are you a doctor or nurse practitioner or pharmacist?  if not, don't freak out and search the web and come to your own random conclusion. Do perform research, do be informed. symptom checker.

 Don't panic.  I cannot tell you how many diseases my friends have diagnosed themselves with.  Even comedians make fun of their friends who have every weird disease in the book or the disease of the day.


Are you going with someone else to be the support?  Take notes.  That person will be in the more tense position.  They may not be concentrating on anything but the verdict.  So, be helpful and take notes of the peripheral conversation. And of course, don't forget to share with the patient!

Be fun.  NO, REALLY, be FUN.


The big fun at this visit was a sign that said," botox injections" at the proctology office.  (NOT HAPPENING!)  I had to ask the nurse, does anyone ever ask for botox in this office, seriously?  She turned and looked at me and said,"you can see who are patients are."  nuff said.

The nurses and doctors have a tough job, tight schedules.  When they meet you be appreciative, be a good listener, compliment their smile, patience, concern.  Sometimes, I even compliment the furrowed brow, telling them their concern is appreciated.  Notice the wedding ring or the children photos, and ask if they are or where they are.... ask how their children are.  Make it personal. Make it very personal. It is the best way to get them to focus on you and yours in a day full of the same patients.

My father doesn't like having to be the pill monitor and the dishwasher and the morning cook.  He is a 1950s husband used to having dinner prepared and served.  I am sure everyone has their own perspective on that.  But, most would be happy that their partner is there.  That they can be in charge, even if they don't want to be.  And grateful that they are able.

At least that is the discussion in my house.  I hope my husband steps up to do my medication.  And I hope I never need it.  And I hope I am there for my parents.

PS Had the follow up doctor appointment today.  Mom is a non-compliant patient, who did not take the meds as she was told.  So she is trying again.  And my father who is a monitor of sorts is once again tasked with helping her remember. Neither wants to be compliant and neither wants to be in the doctor office anymore. Geez, Louise.....