Rising to the Good Doctor Appointment

Recently, I went with my mother (and father) to the doctor.  I had somehow psyched my self into believing that this would be a momentous occasion for medicine.

Turns out that it is three pills at 8:30 a.m

Inflammation that went on too long and white cells started attaching so vehemently that they started being more of a problem than an asset.

So here is my take away from the doctor visit:

Are you a doctor or nurse practitioner or pharmacist?  if not, don't freak out and search the web and come to your own random conclusion. Do perform research, do be informed. symptom checker.

 Don't panic.  I cannot tell you how many diseases my friends have diagnosed themselves with.  Even comedians make fun of their friends who have every weird disease in the book or the disease of the day.


Are you going with someone else to be the support?  Take notes.  That person will be in the more tense position.  They may not be concentrating on anything but the verdict.  So, be helpful and take notes of the peripheral conversation. And of course, don't forget to share with the patient!

Be fun.  NO, REALLY, be FUN.


The big fun at this visit was a sign that said," botox injections" at the proctology office.  (NOT HAPPENING!)  I had to ask the nurse, does anyone ever ask for botox in this office, seriously?  She turned and looked at me and said,"you can see who are patients are."  nuff said.

The nurses and doctors have a tough job, tight schedules.  When they meet you be appreciative, be a good listener, compliment their smile, patience, concern.  Sometimes, I even compliment the furrowed brow, telling them their concern is appreciated.  Notice the wedding ring or the children photos, and ask if they are or where they are.... ask how their children are.  Make it personal. Make it very personal. It is the best way to get them to focus on you and yours in a day full of the same patients.

My father doesn't like having to be the pill monitor and the dishwasher and the morning cook.  He is a 1950s husband used to having dinner prepared and served.  I am sure everyone has their own perspective on that.  But, most would be happy that their partner is there.  That they can be in charge, even if they don't want to be.  And grateful that they are able.

At least that is the discussion in my house.  I hope my husband steps up to do my medication.  And I hope I never need it.  And I hope I am there for my parents.

PS Had the follow up doctor appointment today.  Mom is a non-compliant patient, who did not take the meds as she was told.  So she is trying again.  And my father who is a monitor of sorts is once again tasked with helping her remember. Neither wants to be compliant and neither wants to be in the doctor office anymore. Geez, Louise.....

Rising to the Daughter Who Left Her Horses With Me

Today, someone on Facebook posted a link shared on my page.  The link, 10-reasons-your-teenage-daughter-should-own-a-horse is so emotional for me as a former teenage girl in love with horses and as a Mother who watched her daughter fall in love with horses, and is now watching her adult daughter leave her horses behind.

Everyone is different, we all know.  I am quite sure that my daughter's love of horses came because I put her on one at five.  And I am sure that I hooped and hollered with her every rise out of the little English saddle.  My dream or hers, I am not sure, but her ability to do it, love it and love the animals made it successful.  And like the writer says, it kept her mostly out of trouble.

Years later, dollars later, and oh so many horses later, I have the horses and not the dollars or the daughter.  She is in Europe backpacking and I am here, driving to Madison County feeding horses on weekends.  I have another person feeding during the week.  The horses are on a ten acre pasture and they are three and a goat.

The old show  quarter horse gelding is thick and slow.  My daughter's older thoroughbreds are quick and lean and tall.  All are grey, almost white grey, and speckled like perch only with rose coloring. They are all doing well and enjoy the retirement.  In spite of her insistence that all horses respect the dressage whip, I am intimidated by them.  I try to tell them that I am all they have, and that they should be nice.  The feed buckets just bring out the wild demons in them!  And I stand watching them race up and down the pasture.  Farm and Grey Horses

Which hearkens me back to my own experience.  I remember leaving home, I don't remember what happened to our horses or ponies.  I was ready to leave as soon as I had a driver's license.  And that meant leaving animals, belongings, feelings behind.

Now, I wonder what my parents were thinking when I left.  I surrendered my ponies to my sister and brother.  I wonder if they thought of it as a separation of the child and adulthood or an abandonment of responsibility?  What ever it was, I did not look back.  And whatever it is for my daughter, I don't want her to look back.  As painful as it is to leave your animals, once you know they are safe and you are gone, you should let it go.

She will be back and we will visit with the horses and laugh at how many times that I saddlesoaped the bridles or rubbed down the saddles.  We will look at photos of Europe and talk about her dreams and plans.  Then, I will return to the pleasure of caring for her past, while she goes on to seek her future.  The three ponies and I turning grey and white together.... because pursuing passion should not hinge on the past